Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Cousin Diaries

I have been pretty close to a few cousins (specially the ones from mom's side). We had my mum, elder sister and nephew visit us in June. I loved the way Z-Zo (Zefan and Zoe) bonded. They played together, listened to stories, held hands when walking on the road and it was beautiful to see the both of them together. Of course there were times when they fought like cats and dogs, snapped back at each other and did not share any of their toys/books.

Zefan was this elder brother who took care of Zoe (when he was in a good mood that is :)) and that was one of the sweetest thing to see around the house in the past couple of days. It was also easy to take care of both of them together when they were in a playful mood, the situation worsened when they were at loggerheads :-P. Zoe  sure misses her Zeffy Bhai  when they are all gone.

Here are some of their pictures together, bless em...





Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Toddler turns into a 'Preschooler'

Yes, the day came and she did it. Zoe started school on the 10th of June 2013. She is going to Siksha Montessori, which is very close to our place. I went with her and sat there in her class for 2 days and then the teacher told me she can come alone tomorrow, let's try. I was not prepared for this, I was told it takes a week or so and here I see my little Z exploring the place from the word go.

I had already told her last night, that tomorrow Zoe will go alone to school... Mommy will say Bye-Bye and we will come to pick you up. When we dropped her this morning, she was crying but the moment she entered she became quiet in some time. When I dropped her at the gate I immediately sat in the car, but Fizz kept standing at the gate for sometime. When she was out of site, Fizz and me waited outside the school premises. There was a girl who was constantly crying, Fizz kept on saying its Zoe, and I kept saying she doesn't sound like her. After sometime the teacher came out with a kid who was hauling (who Fizz was mistakenly calling Zoe). The teacher told us, she stopped crying when she entered and now is fine. Once the 30 minutes got over, I heard Zoe's teacher calling her to come to the gate so that we can take her home. It took her 2-3 minutes to come as Miss Z was busy playing and we could see that from the gate.
I'm so proud of my Baby that I promised her an ice-cream treat tonight when Fizz comes from office. Another milestone accomplished successfully.

P.S one of the main reason she loves the school is the star and smiley face she gets every day at school :-)


Thursday, June 6, 2013

Happy Fathers Day AJ

A father generally becomes an unsung hero, a second lead where the main protagonist is a mom and mostly not considered an equal parent. I know moms do a lot for the baby but dads do their share as well... especially in today's day and age. My dad was and will always remain my hero, he passed away 10 years back and no one can fill the void that he left in our lives... no one. My dad was my best friend... we played board games, talked, argued, discussed and had a lot of fun. It has been 10 years I haven't had a conversation with him... I miss him.

Mum was always our parent, but dad was always our friend. We could share anything and everything with 
AJ without thinking twice. That’s why when I had friends who were terrified of their dads I felt weird and I felt blessed. AJ was there besides us like this strong pillar who always was there by our side always… no matter what. Something’s that AJ did, which many dads miss on doing, make him stand apart from many daddies who do not become the equal parent.

AJ taught us how to have fun, how to be happy with or without any big reason... He taught us how to be patient... and when I say patient, I mean extremely patient. Especially when it comes to your children. He showed us how to respect our mom. He NEVER, never ever spoke to mom in a disrespectful manner (and I love him for that). He showed us it is OK to cry if you want to cry and let out your emotions. He was the one who showed us what believing in someone really means... he had a very strong belief in all his daughters. AJ was the one who made me dream, and told me dreams do come true. AJ told us, go for your dreams and dream big. He was the one who showed us what pampering your kids actually means... he spoilt us rotten. Mom was the strict one, but dad the most chilled out person I have ever come across.

I think I'm blessed when it comes to dads, like really blessed. There was dad and there is Fizz who is an amazing dad to my child. He is just like my AJ. He becomes my dad (not in the literal sense of the word though) when I really miss AJ.

This year two days after Father’s Day (18th June) will be dad’s 10th Death Anniversary. I still cannot believe he’s not there right here… because I know wherever he is; he is in a happy place. AJ can’t be sad for long. And AJ before he passed away gave me a very big responsibility; he told mom “Falak will make it really big in life… she’ll make me proud.”

AJ I know you are listening, I would have given up long back… but whenever I think of giving up on anything. I think of you… and I don’t have to do anything else. I just get up and start moving. Thanks for being there ALWAYS. 

This post is liked with the Fathers Day 2013 Link Party we are hosting. If you have prepared anything for Father's Day or are planning to surprise your spouse/dad. Do share the same on our Linky Party, you can even mail it to me at contactmomsters@gmail.com

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

One Is Good… Thank You!

This post 1st appeared in Parentous

Now that Zoe is 2.5 years old, people have started hinting that it’s time to have another baby. I just ignore or  just tell them ‘thanks for the suggestion’, but no thanks.

This post is not exactly about that… it’s about this discussion we had on a social networking site where a fellow mom asked “Just a general poll… single child vs. two children…” Ohh a topic where everyone had a say and everyone had to voice an opinion. :)

Most of the moms were ready for 2 kids… reason being – your present kid needs a companion. And siblings are a blessing from above. A mom also shared a link of an article in NY Times on the ‘The Gift of Siblings’. The article quotes a line, “Your parents leave you too soon and your kids and spouse come along late, but your siblings know you when you are in your most inchoate form.” I’d like to add to that, when you get married and have children, it’s your spouse and children who live with you and stay with you for a long time. Siblings then just become a part of holidays and occasions.

Now getting back to the topic, majority believed that having another kid is a blessing, for the parents and more so, for the child you already have. Some also said, that it is alright if people decide not to have a baby. Why have one child and feel it a burden to take care of him/her and then drop the idea of having a second child.

I would beg to differ… though I would love to have another baby (if my health permits) or I would love to take care of a child who needs parents and their love. There are so many kids who do not have mum or dad. That is right now a distant dream, and I hope it comes true one day.

There were some of us who said (and I truly believe in it) – It’s to each his own; having one child doesn’t mean being selfish. The couples who take the decision of having a baby after giving much thought are more prepared. In today’s expensive and busy times it is more important to think seriously before you commit to have a second baby.

Besides, we live in nuclear families, not joint, like our parents did. Help is difficult to find and most couples sometimes work in cities away from their home towns. One should plan for a second child only when they yearn for him/her just like the way they did for the first child. And not because the second one is needed to give company to the first.

Personally, now when we realise how much effort we need to put in our career and how much time we like to spend with Zoe,  we decided that we need just one biological child. I love being a Mom and I love Being Zoe’s Mom, but for me I think that is good enough as of now. At times, I feel so overwhelmed and hardly get time for myself.

Then there are financial matters too that we need to manage, keeping in mind the growing cost of kid’s education. Also, physically I’m not in a position to go through another pregnancy – though I’d love to. As parents, before deciding to give our older child a companion, we should ponder on the following questions:
  • Are we, physically and emotionally, ready to have another little one in our lives?
  • How are we going to cope with our career and the babies? Do we need an extra help… if yes, start searching for one right away.
  • Why are we going for a second baby? Is it just to give our first one a company?
  • Will our marriage be affected with a second baby?
  • Can we wait any longer? If we want to have another baby … when?

So having one baby, two or multiple, should be your decision… not anyone else’s. Just because your friend’s having another doesn’t mean you should also take a plunge.